"Sometimes the images have an annoying habit of repeating themselves which is really annoying, you know, like one of those "tryptics" by you know by that annoying Dutch guy, De Koonig something, it's sort of dis-orientating which is you know probably the intention of the artist anyway. You could spend a minute amount of time analysing lots or a lot of time analysing a small timer analysing a little bit of his view of time, , that's his concept of time space vortex, rather like a Woolworths display gondola you know with everything chucked in for a penny. . Sometimes you just have to trust the artist and get on with that melon you're eating as his partially fatty body zooms by that fruit bowl on its doily that sits on top of the telly. That's why today those kinds of sets are known as "Doily Sets" Alan is certainly an important new Player on the doily pix scene. Get me a packrt of twenty while you're out will you?"

This riveting article is reproduced with the kind permission of the Boilermakers Gazette from August 3rd 1892.